We had sent out two surveys to everyone we know back at the start of October; one to be filled by the ‘children’ (between the ages of 13 and 25 years old) and the other to be filled by the ‘parents’. In total, over 400 individuals filled out these surveys. The responses we got shed even more light on why sex and sexuality need to be taken out of this dingy, dark abyss of shame and ignorance.
When we read the statements above it’s evident that most parents needed an external trigger to start this conversation; a conversation that wasn’t held as much as it just happened (fortunately!). Why should “the talk” require to be an ice breaking session between parents and their children? Why should we even throw in quotation marks and place this topic on a pedestal cursed with taboo in the first place?
Here we see what the children have to say about the talk. From their general tone of speaking, certain things are very clear. Their sarcasm shows regret for all the lost opportunities of having a discussion, and for all the discomfort they felt during the discussions that did take place. There is a sense of defiance that points towards a big
difference in the opinions of the two respective generations. And in the minority that did seem to be able to speak to their parents openly, we see gratitude and confidence.
Also, we must spare a few moments of utmost empathy for the ones who were supposedly expected to learn from porn! Parents, please; children need correct information and good guidance.
Half of these children wouldn’t ask their parents, two thirds of them wouldn’t ask their teachers. The result? The internet is the most trusted source, followed by their peers.
But the point to note here is that the most trusted sources of information are not the most reliable ones.
In other shocking news, there are many individuals that have wrong information regarding the spread of STIs, even though our country’s education system seems to promote the teaching of topics like contraception and safe sex. A third of them believe that oral sex cannot cause STIs, almost a third of them believe that abstinence can cause them and one fourth of them believe that oral contraceptives can keep them safe from these diseases. At least the topics that are being taught should be taught very well, shouldn’t they? It seems not.
So the bottom line is, we need to start having ‘the talk’, and it should not be such a big deal for everyone. If personal stories don’t alarm you, the numbers surely ought to. We need good sex and sexuality education, now.